I’m not even remotely nervous. Everything will go well at my Case Review this afternoon (The voices have told me so). Oh, you’re allowed to ‘Hear Voices’, it’s acting upon negative advice and prompts which is frowned upon… and I’ve not done that since the kidnapping episode.
Thank you, yes, I’m feeling much better. It’s all down to a new book on meditation which I’ve been reading, literally changed my life, made me a new person. It was quite boring at first, just laying there (With the voices laughing and mocking), until an Oak Tree appeared out of nowhere… no, no, I was on the Ward bed, it appeared inside my mind.
Between two thick branches up the top of the trunk was a hollow, and a head popped out, ‘How Bizarre’ I thought, then concentrated more.
I just knew that it wasn’t imagination, because I wanted it to be wearing a hood or feathered cap or something, you know Merlinesque… but instead it had a liver and white, half-erect Mohawk, with the sides growing back… bit tawny owlie, if you ask me.
It was a male, dare I say it, Spirit of some kind, not of this realm obviously, piercing green eyes like baby fern shoots cwtching up emerald chunks of magic… yeah, I know, right, Wow!
Then he/it got its telepathy on… it’s not as pervy as you’d think it would be, a little tingly at first, almost like the gentle beginnings of foreplay before that FUCKING BEAST COMES OUT! Sorry, ‘Circle, Square, Triangle, Wave’, there, all better now, I use those four words as a steadying mantra.
Where was I? Oh, yes… the telepathy, it was images as well as babbling brook sounds at first, a kind of audio Celtic knot-work with Times New Roman subtitles… ace, yeah, I focused sturdier… and fuck me sideways but it spoke”
“You are not Mad, Madness is a fixed term stuck and nailed to Logic. There is nothing ‘Logical’ about the evolving seasons of the mind. A Shaman does not see the truth, only possible ‘Directions’ and ‘Eventual Outcomes’ (Of which there are many), ‘Chance’ swings her fat-arse into the equation quite regularly, and ‘Choice’ is a matter of individualistic perception, based upon underlying fears, phobias, likes, dislikes and a whole gambit of personal pressure-gauges ‘Dare-I-Cross-This-Line’ initiatives, strengths, weaknesses and ‘Streetcars Named Desires’.
You’re fucked if you start to wander along another person’s mental safety rope… whilst your very own is close at hand, dig?
‘Confused’ and ‘Muddled’ are a slight tone different… yet, they both lead to the very same point of ‘Uncertainty’. Tearing down the barriers of conformity and the walls of structured reasoning will leave you open and vulnerable to shit. There is no protection against the ‘Darkness’ except ‘Light’… and that is what you should be seeking. It hides in many forms and places… beware ‘Gypsy Music’ and use the word ‘Nuh’ as a talisman, often.
Nietzsche had it wrong, and is now a fucking milkman on the ‘Other Side’, I kid you not…
‘Empathy’ is your biggest strength, but it has to be earthed with ‘Common Sense’ otherwise you’re leaving yourself open to opportunistic vampire vultures… and remember ‘Narcissistic Rage’, besides being hilarious, is simply ‘Dark Applause’, it’s Nature’s way of showing you that you’re on the right track :)
Inside Out always, unless you are only glancing off and not stopping. Carry everything inside your head, mate… except beer money and things deemed irreplaceable… ‘Marley’s Ghost’ was in the wrong book and should have had top billing in the Bible.
‘Letting Go’ will build confidence. ‘Stubbornness’ is powerful, yet it has to work with the grain. You can want something as much as you like, but if it’s not on your ticket… you’ll simply end up losing your soul to pettiness and personal mishap.
Take ‘Courage’ and ‘Heart’ from the small things. You are Alive and Breathing… that’s a good start… there are other people out there clutching blindly at gravestones.
Your job is to survive, progress and learn. Knowledge is critical, yet Experience is the other side of that coin… use The Hermit and The Fool cards as willy-nilly and often as possible.
Stay away from people who use the word ‘Humble’ not in reference to themselves… they are merely trying to diminish your ‘Shine’.
You will hurt and upset people… the less the better… Karma’s not a bitch but a wrecking ball on fire… when not dealing from her happy hand.
Surfaces are for skimming pebbles off, eating vittles on, and painting Masterpieces upon… look in between things, always around corners before stepping, words are never empty and flattery is bait only. Sincerity almost became a Ghost Town in the 1980’s. Look backwards selectively and forward with hope… don’t fight them on the beaches, you’ll get sand in your talent, focus not upon success but on achieving.
A stopped clock is not right twice a day, it’s a falsehood, it’s asleep and unaware of the unwarranted praise it’s being given.
Some would say that being scared of the shadows is half the way to cleverness.
There is buried treasure in imagination, but it takes alchemy to gateway it home and nail it Fact.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, that’s just a pathway to an extended prison sentence.
Love is soul medication not a destination. Hatred a childish merry-go-round. Compassion a gift, to both giver and receiver, desperation a weakness, and Sloth a pox of the Soul.
Stay both ‘Unique’ and ‘Brilliant’, never follow ‘The Joneses’… and remember a sycophant is just the arse-end of a Fool.
Oh, and stay away from Ketamine, Lead Weights and the Guest Houses of Merthyr Tydfil.
Now, tutty-bye, I have shit to do elsewhere… take this gift and keep it safe. Teleport your negativity and anxieties into it daily.”
“With that, he/it winked, rather violently, and the whole tree shimmied and dissipated back to whence it fucking came from… bringing me back with a jolt to my body, which was still laid upon the hospital bed, listening to ‘That Woman Who Had Her Heart Broken And Now Makes Recordings To Help Other People In Despair To Relax’ repeating “now breathe out once more and open your eyes to a New You”
I felt something within my clenched right fist, and upon looking saw a little summer-sky blue velvet drawstring purse with two crystals inside, one ‘Rose Crystal’ and t’other a ‘Tigers Eye’.
Here, just take a look, I’ve carried it around in my pocket ever since. It reminds me of a rabbit scrotum, with its little two lumps… how cute, yeah.
Yes, sure, I’ll lend you the meditation book, I no longer need it… I’m mind-travelling all over the shop almost nightly. But, remember, opening up the gates of the mind is only the beginning… it’s the sophisticated traversing onwards and upwards that matters most… you are never really crazy if it’s all just a muthafucking journey, innit, like.”