Notice Pasted On Barry’s Front Door by Rodney Wood

NO CANVASSERS, SALESPERSONS, JUNK MAIL OR RELIGIOUS BODIES, ESPECIALLY

no Witnesses, Divine Missionaries, Southern Baptists or Assemblies
no one waiting for spaceships, asteroids, planets or shopping malls
no one from the Church of Maradonna or Flying Spaghetti Monsters
no one wearing temple garments, hair shirts, tin foil or nothing at all
no one who plays golf or is tough as Lee Van Cleef
no one demanding money, my signature, email or twitter account
no one making blackmail threats or calling for divine retribution
no one waiting for the end of the world or the start of a new one
no one talking about the rapture, reincarnation or resurrection
no one humming Rachmaninov, or Snow Patrol’s “on/off”
no Buddhas, idols, flagellants ghosts or cartoon characters
no witch smellers, zombies, virgins, mummies, firebirds or oracles
no devils, dancers, grim reapers, dragons, dervishes, or snakes
no one with light shining through their eyes or from their assholes
no one dressed in cast offs or wearing make up like Boris Karloff
no one carrying busts of Madonna, Princess Diana or suicide pills
no incorruptible bodies, purifying corpses, bones or tiny fragments
no priests, bishops, preachers, rabbis, imams or their equivalent
no one selling pardons, chickens, cows, relics or shares in a well
no one with a hiccough, a cough or pulling a plough

NOW YOU’VE WASTED TIME READING THIS NOTICE YOU CAN PISS OFF!

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

Rodney Wood is retired and lives in Farnborough. Currently jointly runs an open mic in Send His work has recently appeared in magazines such as Tears in the Fence, Envoi and Magma.His first pamphlet, Dante Called You Beatrice, was published by The Red Ceiling Press in September this year.

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