Thoughts & Prayers by Neil Fulwood

Thank you for choosing thoughts & prayers.
Before using thoughts & prayers for the first time
please read the following guidelines. Thoughts
& prayers should be deployed only during times
of tragedy or national mourning. Thoughts & prayers
are unsuitable for small-scale incidents,
unfortunate accidents or bad luck. Thoughts
& prayers are not to be activated privately –
the manufacturer’s warrantee will be invalidated
unless sound bite or news camera footage
can demonstrate media-appropriate usage.
It is recommended that thoughts & prayers
are kept in a locked cabinet and wrapped
in oilcloth. You can obtain spare cartridges
of thoughts & prayers from your local retailer.
All thoughts & prayers are government-approved.

Neil Fulwood lives, works and subsidizes pubs in Nottingham. His debut collection, No Avoiding It, is published by Shoestring Press. He hasn’t stopped going on about it yet.