To Get Him Off Our Back by William C. Blome

To get him off our back, I told him we’d be in Russia next week, and that the same sunlight which poured in his bedroom window on clear mornings would be there with us too. However, I sensed he had some doubts, and he sort of confirmed my suspicion when he asked, “Do you honestly think the Japanese will have a giant sea turtle ready for you to use and completely at your disposal to carry the two of you across the water and into the port of Vladivostok? That sort of sojourn takes many, many an hour, and then you’ll need a special, tailored reward for the hard-working turtle at the end of its seagoing labor.”

Well, to again get him off our back, I told him we would reconsider: Sapporo, certainly, but maybe not press our luck, and maybe remain in snow country until we couldn’t take the sight of white any longer, and couldn’t continue being aroused by heavy old women in the bathhouse, trying to use their waving fingers to clear away the steam in front of them. At that he smiled just like the man in the moon, and he said he knew exactly what we meant, even if in truth, “the situation has never happened to me.”

William C. Blome

William C. Blome lives in the States, between Baltimore and Washington, DC. He is a master’s degree graduate of the Johns Hopkins University Writing Seminars. His work has appeared in mags such as The Alembic, Amarillo Bay, Prism International, Fiction Southeast, Roanoke Review, Salted Feathers and The California Quarterly.

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