Attention by Katie Lewington

see these sheets I’ve messed on?

scribbling like a child with crayons

my mind wretched-
baloney

my mind bored-
snore

savage tiger vacating from the zoo-
roar

nobody told me to write

I was barely persuaded

except at school

didn’t grip the pen right

I ain’t retarded, I’m special!

why’s everything got to be

diagnosed
examined
labelled

I’m not a brain in a jar-
a sample of tissue

why so serious

from the off

at birth

encouragement is the shrine

to which we go

chubby palms and thumbs
clapping

it’s easy to smile

when mummy adores the painting I just messed on –

handprint on the wall

the song I sang word for word

I can push my cart
even peddle my wheels

this is attention

it dazzles me like the sound of busking wind chimes
I like it

why does it stop
and where does it go –
behind the clouds

my childish stories have to be read and there isn’t the time

eat, walk to school, homework, brush my teeth and bed

routine fucking routine
attention attention I crave

attention

nobody likes it when I do it wrong-
correct me? fuck you

read what I’ve written and validate my existence –
why don’t you

I’m human I’m human I’ve a heart in my chest and it beats
boom boom boom

fuck it

I’m OK within my own isolation

freezing? yeah it’s bitter, bitch

but I’ve got my instincts
my name
feet in two shoes –
with laces I’m not able to tie

I’ll forge my path

don’t come around pretending you care now

I gave up long ago on you.

Katie Lewington 2

Katie Lewington likes to review the books she reads, listen to music, daydream, watch Cary Grant films, help The Pithead Chapel journal and Transcending Shadows review and Punks Write Poems Press sift through their submissions, sniff 50 year old poetry tomes and enjoy the aesthetic display of many literary magazines (She has been published in some of these) Contact her through Twitter @idontwearahat and her blog https://katiecreativewriterblog.wordpress.com

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s