Death In Sleep by Noel Negele

I don’t want to die
While taking a piss
Or a shit-
My brother or someone
Breaking down the door
After two hours of silence
On my end
To find me lying on my own
Filth-
My cock ridiculously withdrawn
Like a small piece of shame
Something that used to be majestic
At times-
With my lousy unbolted jaw
And my eyeballs vacant of emotion
And thought
Stubbornly trying to
Peak inside the skull.

I don’t want to die
While having sex
Either-
As opposed to many people
Who seem to believe
It’s one of the most glorious ways
Of getting out-
I think it’s embarrassing
And in all probability
Traumatic to the lover-
And the laughable me without me
Over her sweaty and vivid body
Unable to produce pleasure
Just a waste of space and expenses
For the burial-
A parasite until the final moment
Where the dirt will bloat out the sun
Permanently.

I don’t want to die outside either
Because I am slightly agoraphobic
And because let’s face it
No one wants strangers staring
At our most vulnerable moment.

Best way of heading out
Is in my sleep,
Just like a gentleman

Surely death in sleep must be
Like diving deeper than usual
A smooth and effortless descent
Into the welcoming nothingness

And I would also prefer
For some time to have passed
Before I am found on my bed
With a feathery smile
To reassure the relatives that it
Wasn’t scary nor bad-
Just about the time
When the cheeks
Have lost the blush of shame
And the rats have grown
Dangerously intimate
After  hearkening
To the silence of my body.

Noel Negele was born and raised in Albania but currently resides in Greece. Some of his scribblings are alive on Dead Snakes and Horror Sleaze Trash, and a couple are featured in Midnight Lane Boutique. Not much else to say.