Fat Girls by Bobby Parker

First there was Overweight Haters
handing out malicious
fat shaming cards
on the tube
now there’s this morning’s article
in a popular magazine
that says men
attracted to fat girls
are considered to be deviants
with low self-confidence
it says fat girls
often experience
intense shame
on behalf of their partners
& the beautiful world
basically hates them
I guess you haven’t thought about it before
maybe you didn’t want to think about it
staring at your hands
they seem broken & far away
as if a tired mother
bandaged them in the dark
you hope she doesn’t think
this is why you haven’t introduced her
to your parents
you grab your soft belly with both hands
shaking & squeezing
until it’s red in the mirror
& while she sleeps
drunk dreaming
pure & sad
as the next person
& every other person
in the stick thin world
you imagine all of us
swimming deep underwater
where bombs sleep
& monsters cry
everybody diving
until our drowned hearts sing
a history of clouds
away from the weight of weight
away from the size of size
screaming bubbles
death gone mad
skin for the wasted angels
& as we break
blood free
into the clean white light
of knowing for sure
love will be
slow & strange again
you will not care
it will fit anywhere
a sweet woozy god of a thing
you knock empty bottles
spinning sideways
into the sun
as you leap out of bed
dragging the covers behind you
to stand
squinting at her
– which is right –
as if something is wrong
& you’re trying to see it
you’re trying to see it
but you can’t.

Bobby Parker

Bobby Parker’s first full poetry collection Blue Movie is published by Nine Arches Press, available here http://ninearchespress.com/publications/poetry-collections/blue-movie.html


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