Why do you write?
I don’t know. It is like asking why do we fuck? We just feel the need to do it from a deep biological need. Some of us enjoy it more then others, but we all like to fuck. For me it is the same thing with writing. Not getting laid sucks but so does trying to get laid (when I was single). It is hard, takes time out of the day, but in the end it feels worth it. It is the same thing with writing, I just need to get off. It feels like a need. Once you hit that stride its up there with the Little Death.
What books do you read?
I am a schizophrenic reader and it kind of sucks, because there is very few people into ALL the same stuff. My Big 5 are Bizarro, Horror, Poetry, YA, and Literary Fiction.
What inspires you?
Two things 1) Quality good to great art. Music, Fiction, Poetry, TV, and sports (basketball is big men doing ballet). 2) Something really dumb I see that drives me to write. Right now it’s ISIS, Political Correctness on steroids, American Politics, and #GamerGate
How did you know you wanted to be a writer and when?
I was a little kid and wanted to write a story inspired by Tales From The Crypt. I can still remember writing about The Pool Monster. It felt so good to write the ending of the monster putting its arm through a kid’s stomach during his high dive. Though I can’t write good horror, it planted the seed.
How Do you deal with rejection?
By saying the short version of The Serenity Prayer—fuck it.
Who are some writers you admire?
This is my favorite question. I have many writers for different reasons. I love Gary Shteyngart, and Tom Perrota for their sense of humor, satire, and tight writing. Mohisin Hamid and Laura Lee Bahr for their brilliant use of Second Person. Kim Addonizo, Philip LoPresti Lisa Marie Basile, and Nate Slawson for keeping my passion of poetry alive and healthy. Carlton Mellick The 3rd for being my favorite Bizarro (my favorite genre) author and storyteller. Brian Keene and Edward Lee for horror. And Matt and Trey from South Park, which I think The University of Mars will say they are the best satirists in human history.
Is writing the only artistic medium you do?
No, I play guitar, bass, and sing and play in bands. I’ve recorded songs with The Only Prescription and Moses Moses, but there is nothing better then playing live. I also do The Passion of the Christoph Podcast on The Shootin It Network that gives me a similar buzz
What would be some advice you would give to your younger self?
Learn craft, don’t wait for inspiration, make friends patience and perseverance, and don’t be afraid of failing. Also I wished I learned guitar sooner.
Do you have any advice for other writers?
I do. Besides the basic memes and basic shit. Learn how to play yourself and you can only do that by jamming. What instrument are you? Know this! Do you outline or pants it. That shit matters. Build a system, know how you play the best, and have courage to see your weakness and then try to make them part of your own strengths.
What is your writing process?
If you ever seen the HBO show True Detective, I take a ton of notes like the nihilist Matthew McConaughey. I can’t just sit there and write. I don’t’ work that way (similar to what I said above.) I need notes and outline to write decent to very good Fiction. For poetry, this is lame as hell to admit, but I write my best poetry and even take my best notes when on a treadmill on working on an abandoned road. I worked at RaidoShack and would write on my phone. The habit has stayed with me. I also like noise in the background. I also got bad ADD but I make that weakness a strength when writing.
Christoph Paul is an author of six books of Humor, Non-Fiction, Satire, Bizarro, and Poetry. He hosts The Passion of the Christoph Podcast on The Shootin It Network. He was singer/guitarist of The Only Prescription and is part of the current 2-man band project Moses Moses. He has worked for the Dept. of Labor and managed an adult video store—both were equally repugnant.
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